Feb 20 2014
I finally have to look at it—my grievance against other people for not loving me, as indicated by their not reaching out to me and granting me happiness. Deep down I have believed I am unworthy of love. My beliefs are causative, with the power to dictate each decision I make. I have set up (projected) moment-after-perceived-moment of actions and non-actions of others to prove that they didn’t really love me. I was the face of innocence, the poor victim. Others made me become defensive and withdrawn.
This line of thought has kept me a victim, stuck in my littleness, in my false self. It has perpetuated the nervous clot of andy-body and kept it alone.
But Jesus, the Holy Spirit, ACIM, David, Nikita, and my mighty companions are telling me something completely different, something that I intuitively know to be true: That I am as God created me; I am the Son of God; I am love. I feel it in meditation. Spirit is also telling me that giving and receiving are the same. And that the way to experience this is to take the leap of faith, to follow prompts to connect with my brother. To be open and willing to give and to receive without expectation.
“To have, give all to all. This is the only step you must take for yourself. It is only necessary that you turn in that direction. Having chosen to go that way, you place yourself in charge of the journey, where you and only you must remain. This step is the beginning step in reversing your perception and turning it right-side up. Having taken the first step, you will be helped. Once you have chosen what you cannot complete alone, you are no longer alone.” T-6.V.A
So I’m notching this thing up and going public with my intention to take the step of joining with my brother. My lesson for today: God is the Strength in which I trust.