Feb 20 2014
I had a conversation with a brother today who was suffering and this came out, “it’s in the indecision the suffering lies.” It was at this point that I felt a surge of Knowing that this was the Truth, yet while I understood how this could be so, I really didn’t get the “Why” of this being so! At that time I noted that this is something that required further contemplation and moved on with doing other things.
That was until now, when it suddenly struck me, there is no indecision, it’s a LIE! Invented by the ego to make me think I actually had a choice of not making a decision, or of delaying anything. Now this experience came as a shock, as I am a master at procrastination and the phrase “why decide now when later is just fine” was my favorite repeat position.
Upon further contemplation the awareness expanded. In not making a decision I was actually making a decision. A decision for the ego, as currently it is my default position. So there it was, in all the decisions I wasn’t making I was actually making a decision for the ego and suffering, and my only way out was to actually make a decision and say YES to Spirit. This is why Jesus tells me in ACIM in the “Rules for Decision,” to “make no decisions by myself,” then goes on to say later:
“We said you can begin a happy day with the determination not to make decisions by yourself. This seems to be a real decision in itself. And yet, you cannot make decisions by yourself. The only question really is with what you choose to make them. That is really all. The first rule, then, is not coercion, but a simple statement of a simple fact. You will not make decisions by yourself whatever you decide. For they are made with idols or with God. And you ask help of anti Christ or Christ, and which you choose will join with you and tell you what to do.
Your day is not at random. It is set by what you choose to live it with, and how the friend whose counsel you have sought perceives your happiness. You always ask advice before you can decide on anything. Let this be understood, and you can see there cannot be coercion here, nor grounds for opposition that you may be free. There is no freedom from what must occur. And if you think there is, you must be wrong.
The second rule as well is but a fact. For you and your adviser must agree on what you want before it can occur. It is but this agreement that permits all things to happen. Nothing can be caused without some form of union, be it with a dream of judgment or the Voice for God. Decisions cause results because they are not made in isolation. They are made by you and your adviser, for yourself and for the world as well. The day you want you offer to the world, for it will be what you have asked for, and will reinforce the rule of your adviser in the world. Whose kingdom is the world for you today? What kind of day will you decide to have?” A Course in Miracles, T-30.I.14-16
The only real decision I was ever making was “Who I was actually choosing to make them with,” and in not saying YES to Spirit in everything I do, I am actually saying yes to the ego and all the suffering that it brings.
I now see that indecision is just a lie, in a vain attempt by the ego to ensure it remains as my advisor. I also now realize the importance of handing everything over and letting Spirit decide on what to do. So upon waking and all through the day I just say YES to Spirit, and then Trust that all I do is guided, and all that happens, is happening for my, and the whole mind’s, benefit.