Feb 20 2014
Wow! What a profound experience. “Either way, I am just listening,” I said to Gavin while he was telling me that the scary stories I was making up in my mind about why this is scary, and why I am resistant to that, and so on, they are stories made up by the ego; not me. I can listen to the guidance from Spirit, or I can listen to the stories of the ego. But either way, I am just listening. And I can choose which one I join. I can join the ego’s story and feel afraid and little, and feel that I am alone and imperfect, constantly getting everything wrong. Or I can step back; I can still hear what the ego has to say, and instead of biting into its stories, say “I can hear you, thank you,” and give those thoughts and feelings over to Spirit and join Him instead.
I didn’t know I could do that! I have that choice! My God! This is it!
Allowing the thoughts and the feelings and simply letting Spirit handle them. This is so good, because God knows I’ve tried handling them myself, and tried and tried and tried. And all I feel is pain and misery because I have no idea what I’m doing. I have no clue what I’m doing or what to do! Well, thank God that there is One Who does!
And even as I write this, a feeling of fear arises… about the future, “am I going to remember this? am I going to get it from now on?” What a hypothetical!
It’s all about right now! It’s never about anything else.
Spirit, help me allow these waves of fear and uncertainty and see them for what they are so that I can become aware of Love’s presence always.
Humbly in Love,